Big Shit

This has been my last week on the road. It started off in Dallas. Fun screening at the Magnolia Theater. They apparently had to turn away 170 people. Sorry guys. Hope it’s worth the wait when you finally see the film. After the screening I signed a bunch of postcards and t-shirts. A group of students drove all the way from Waco. Love those kids.

Next day brought Good Morning Texas, Pugs & Kelly (one of my favorite stops on the tour – they invited me to judge a MILF contest, but alas I couldn’t make it), and Big Dick Hunter’s Wild Ass Circus Show… yup. Big Dick ended up being quite normal and nice. He asked me for acting advice for an upcoming role.

I was back in LA with just enough to time to drive up to Santa Barbara for a screening. Then back down to LA and a flight to Philadelphia.

Diablo and I reunited in Philly. It’s way more fun with her there. We signed a kid’s pair of shoes after the screening. We started the morning with FM Talk, moved into AM Talk, then ended at NPR. It was an exercise in slowly improving your vocabulary.

The next day I flew to Detroit. Had a stop over because I refuse to fly anything but United. I’m sitting at a two top table with producer Dan in Ohare airport. Dan keeps on leaving to check our flight and such. Every time he leaves, a stream of people come up and ask for his chair. One guy just started dragging it off and I had to stop him. Weather was bad and the place was getting packed. At one point, while Dan was away, an older Eastern European guy walked back up steaming and pointed to the empty chair with venom.

“So, this is your friend?! Huh?! You are a… (Searching for the right words)… BIG SHIT!”

The whole place went quiet. The guys stormed off. When Dan got back to the table, I walked back over to my new friend and pointed out Dan sitting in his chair. “That’s my friend”. He grunted.

Fifteen minutes later, he sulks back up to our table. “I want to apologize. Recently, I am under stress.” Nods. Leaves.

This is my favorite experience on the press tour thus far.

I landed in Detroit too late and missed the Q&A. Diablo and I did our day of press and then parted ways. She has a screening in Minneapolis. I have one in NY. The tour is over and I can’t help feel a little heart broken. Now it’s time for the movie to come out.

 But first, tomorrow morning, the golden globe nominations will be announced. Fingers crossed.